Tarot reading for the week: Page of Swords, Ten of Coins, Four of Coins.
Reading: Finished “How to Stop Feeling like Shit” by Andrea Owen. Five-seven books going currently, but going to focus on “Premonitions of the Titanic Disaster” by Terry Keefe.
Listening to: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1g7lV7wu3f7QDC6eSRivIS?si=de57070cc902474b my Camp Nano project playlist
Well, hey there. It’s been a while since I posted here. Like, four years. And the world has massively changed in that time. I don’t wanna talk about that though; we hear enough about the dreaded “C” Word and everything that goes with it.
I see a lot of authors doing newsletters, but I don’t think that’s for me. For one, I have a singularly thing ‘proplerly’ published right now. So I don’t feel allowed to bother people, I guess? It’s an odd sentiment, because I don’t think that about other authors at all. I guess that’s imposter syndrome and all of that. I did what to start plopping my thoughts down somewhere, and if someone wants to read them– good for you, and thanks for that.
Currently, I’m in a weird spot. Camp starts tomorrow, I have a fresh project with 6k words in my outline (sadly only act 1 is outlined, but I have a synopsis, so that’s something). There are a few things that make it different, though this camp. One, seasonal depression is kicking in way earlier than expected. So that’s rough. That’s probably compounded by being in the query trenches too with my urban fantasy. At least, I think it’s an urban fantasy. See, I wrote this book, and it was so weird and I was so proud of it, but the more I listen to others (ie. reddit and twitter), the more I lose faith in it. Despite querying going okay. Like, yeah, I’ve had rejections. I’ve sent out 20 since January, and I’ve gotten like 8 rejections. But I’ve had a full (that was a pass) and a partial still out there, so that’s good! Especially with how terrible it all is right now. But that’s a whole other thing, too. Maybe it would be easier if I didn’t rely on outside approval for gratification or whatever. Point is, my book is out there, and I refuse to touch it, as tempting as it is, until all the rejections come back. Because I don’t want to be somehow who keeps flinging it out there in the hopes I get a bite. I want someone to love and champion my work, right?
Anway, back to camp. I’m trying something different. Several somethings, even. One, I’m trying a new genre: Gothic Romance. That’s terrifying for me, but I want to tell this story. It’s been niggling at me, much like my urban fantasy had. Which I smashed through. However, this camp, I’ve set myself a much smaller goal than usual: 10k words only. 500 a day, with weekends to rest. I’m a classic panicker/overachiever though, so I’ll see how hard I burn myself out, panicking that I’m not good enough, that I never will be good enough.
Since I’ve got…24 hours until I start Camp Nano though, I’m going to finish critiquing the last chapter of Lauren’s draft. Then maybe have a panic attack in the bath and wonder what I’m doing with myself, the usual pre nano ritual.
Oh! Offhand, but it’s officially Titanic month starting tomorrow too. I’ve set a fun goal for myself to rate and review every Titanic game, and I recorded my first video. But that imposter syndrome is killing me and every time I try to voice over, I can’t speak. Fun. Even scripted to hell. I admire people that can just…do the thing. It’s incredible.
Anway, I’m off. Take care during camp. Writing targets aren’t everything. Remember to get some sunshine, to hydrate, and to take care of yourself for me. I’ll try and do the same.