April is upon us. Easter, family, fun- and April Camp Nanowrimo. This feels really odd to say. Normally I’m excited for Nanowrimo. I like the challenge it presents- how it forces me to get words out, to tackle a project. To genuinely throw myself into my writing without a care.
This April feels different. I’m not as prepared. I have a name. An idea. A vague musing of an outline. That’s it. I haven’t ever been so ill prepared and for once in my life, I’m not anxious about it. I’m not even anxious if I meet my goal or not.
I’ve realised something about writing lately. It’s not the end all if I don’t achieve every one of my goals, or if I take my time getting there. It only matters that I have them. I’ve put so much pressure to be perfect, or have unrealistic expectations to the point that I freeze and ignore my goals- it’s easier to just not do something rather than fail. I couldn’t bear to have my ego hurt like that.
It’s OK now. It’s OK, because I care about writing. That means I can take my time, and have fun, and make mistakes. I’m allowed to make mistakes, because they are what make things better. You learn from them.
I’m going to pants my first Nano. No outlines, no heavily scrawled notes. Just an idea, because writing is a lot like goals. You alter your course as you follow the path, because nothing is going to follow the rigid path you set.